i'd expect you won't cry

(this is just me being bored :p expressing my frustration. ha ha)

What do you do two o'clock at night waiting for the sun to come up. Your not feeling tired, but you wanna sleep. You can't sleep, and you stay up looking outside the window while watching at the sky to turn blue. You want to run out and play in the garden and take pictures of everything you find but you can't because the people that sleeps in the room beside you would freak out mentally. Your skin is itching from the inside and all you want to do is to run outside acting like a fucking child again. I never wanna grow up. I will always be childish but some times acting like the most mature up person in the world. Hearing that i should enjoy being a child and not trying to act like i am sixteen. But i am not. Sometimes i have my perverted thoughts in my head, but who haven't had some of those thoughts once in a while?
I love being young. Off course i want to grow up so i can go everywhere i want to, do whatever i want and don't give a shit about my parents. But deep inside i want to keep that safe feeling over knowing my parents caring about me. Sometimes my mind just adjust to being difficult to others. Arguing about everything just because i am having a shitty day. It's mean, but it works for me some times. Sometimes i just get so pissed off and argues while acting like a sixteen year old again because when it goes to things i care about, i get serious. Deadly serious. And it makes me angry when people are talking shit about it, that's why i am acting like being older so i don't yell about what an idiot that person is.
Cause in my mind, that's mean. I want to make people understand what i am talking about. When people don't listen, or don't understand, i can feel the anger bubble up inside me. It doesn't even need to be important. I like to have attention when i am speaking and if people ignore me i get childish. I might just turn my back and walk away or i'll stay angry while rolling my eyes every time someone say something just to make people know that if they don't care about me, well i am not fucking gonna care about you either.